The Email Marketing Michelangelo?




“To do a dull thing with style – now that’s what I call art.” ~ Charles Bukowski


If Charles Bukowski’s definition of art is anything to go by, then I must be one helluvan artist.

How so?

Well, think about it:

Every single email I write, I’m waxing lyrical about email marketing; a topic that almost everyone considers to be incredibly dull and boring.

Yet, my subscribers (and others: competitors, lurkers, and Amazon customers) keep reading my emails, buying my e-books and my Flagship product.

Listen, let me lay my cards on the table:

Email marketing can be dull.

Yes indeedy, it can be as dull as a British accountant’s work clothes.

But guess what?

This inherent dullness poses no problemo for The Email Marketing Maverick. No probs at all mate, as we say here in ‘Straya.


Cuz I MAKE email marketing interesting!



By adding a little style.

Let me tell ya, a little style goes a long way, especially when you have a product or service that is inherently dull.

Now hear this:

One of the biggest killers of sales with email marketing is boring emails.

Here’s what most email marketers don’t fully comprehend:

A promotional email is essentially your salesman.

Now, imagine this scenario:

Imagine you had a really neat line of products that you knew people in your local area would love. And let’s say you hired a salesman – let’s call him Rupert – to sell your products door to door. But there’s a problem – Rupert turns out to be deadly dull. In fact, he’s so dull and boring he makes Pete Sampras look like Jim Carrey.

When a prospect opens the door, Rupert pulls out your product from his avocardo colored breifcase and proceeds to bore the prospect into a coma by droning on and on about your product in a monotone voice with all the energy of a sloth on Prozac.

Now, do you think Rupert would make many sales?

Me neither.

And would you keep sending him out to sell your wares?

Of course not.

But guess what?

Most marketers are sending “Rupert emails” to their list, and… they keep on sending them!

Listen up:

I’m all for scientific advertising (i.e. testing your email campaigns and doing A/B testing), but I’m also a big believer in marketers being an artist. You see, it’s the art that drives the stats.

David Ogilvy, the Father of Advertising famously said: “You can’t bore someone into buying from you.”

Word up!

Now, I ask you: How much do you think readers nowadays appreciate content with a little style?

Well, see for yourself: (the following quotes are from some of my Amazon customers)


“It’s hard to make a topic as potentially dull as email marketing engaging, and the author is to be commended for his novel take on the subject matter.” Amazon customer A

“Contact him and get on his email list. They’re a lot of fun to receive. I wouldn’t miss one of them and am always overjoyed when I see one in my Inbox. How many marketing “Exp-Hurts” can you say that about ???” Amazon customer B

“I appreciate marketing books in general but they are often very dry and I find I need to take breaks throughout the reading process. However, Kelvin Dorsey does a great job in injecting funny and entertaining quotes throughout. I was able to read this from front to back in one sitting.” Amazon customer C

“Marketing is important to my line of work but a tad boring to learn about. However this book adds a lot of humor. Some not to my taste but it is a nice change to the normal slow and boring marketing books I have read before.” Amazon customer D

“The book is easy-to-read and understand, is well written and edited, and has a fun edge to it so it doesn’t become too boring.”  Amazon customer E

“The author did a good job of spicing up semi-bland sales and marketing info.” Amazon customer F

“His writing style is much different than a How-to-Book. He is a clever writer that keeps your attention, tells a few jokes along the way, and uses psychology by thinking of the reader from to onset.”  Amazon customer G

“It’s very entertaining, to say the least. This book is definitely not boring.” Amazon customer H

“The author’s writing style is unique and humoristic – and it adds a lot to the reading experience.”  Amazon customer I

“I just started reading this book like only in the first few pages, but the writing is already so enticing. The stories are told in such a way that bring a big smile to your face with the way the author is using their language.” Amazon customer J

“This book kept me reading non-stop. I really enjoyed the practical advice with a humorous twist. If you sell anything at all…. Read this book.” Amazon customer K

“The book is a great read very entertaining and educational. The author as a very creative way of expressing words in a way that make you want to eat up every chapter.” Amazon customer L

“Instead of having a lot of information on things that would be confusing for you to understand, this book breaks everything down into casual terms, or terms that anyone can identify with. In other words, it is written in plain English, and it is presented in a way that won’t make you roll your eyes or have them glaze over due to boredom.” Amazon customer M

“The writer’s style is pleasantly unique filled with humor that just makes the content so much more interesting and easy to follow.” Amazon customer N

“Motivating, definitely not dull.” Amazon customer O

OKAY, Kelvin, I get it; your readers like your style. Did you really need to include all those comments?

Ah, c’mon Pookie, don’t be like that.

I’m simply trying to get you to see how very much readers appreciate writing that is not yawn inducing, and how important (no, crucial) it is for marketers to write with some style.

And judging by all those comments, it seems to me that readers appreciate a little style quite a bit, dontcha think?

Look, the bottom line is this:

If you want your emails to be opened instead of shunned, become more like an artist.

Just don’t be a broke one.

Now, one last thing:

Are you ready to ramp up your sales with email?

If so, boogie on here: Email Marketing Maverick’s Playbook To Doubling Your Sales

P.S. Before I sign off, I feel I need to say this: Writing with style is simply a means to an end. And that end is this: Sales!

Never forget that, Jack.


OK, talk soon.


Email Marketing Michelangelo