I like My Subscribers How I Like My Coffee (book#8)

I like my subscribers how I like my coffee – hot or cold.

In winter, I love me some smokin’ hot espresso.

In summer, I scarf down iced coffees like Norm Peterson scarfs down beer. (Actually, that is now not true. Since finding out I’m dairy intolerant, I no longer drink iced coffee. But why let the truth get in the way of a good analogy, eh?)

Okay, so how does this little analogy work with subscribers of a newsletter?

Here’s how:

A hot subscriber is a subscriber who loves you and your products or service.

These red-hot subscribers open all your emails, buy all your products and are your biggest promoters and advocates.

In their eyes, the sun shines through your arse.

Okay, you get the idea.

Now, let’s talk about the “cold” subscriber.

A cold subscriber is a subscriber who hates you and everything you stand for.

These bitter cold subscribers open all your emails too, yet for a very different reason. The reason?

To see how much angrier they can get with you. And once they find something to get offended about, they love to let you know how offended it made them, using lots of colorful language. Sure, some of these subscribers can be a real painus in the anus, but interestingly enough, I find most of them to be kinda funny.

They bring me some much needed amusement.

In fact, when they unsubscribe, I’m almost sad to see them go.

You see, although these frigid, cold and bitter subscribers will rarely ever buy, they at least respond to your emails. They’re either going to hate-read your newsletters and let you know about every damn thing that upsets them, or they simply just unsubscribe.

No harm, no foul.

Now, let’s talk about the remaining subscribers. That being: Warm subscribers.

A “warm” subscriber is a subscriber who is indifferent towards you. They don’t love you and they don’t hate you.

These sickly warm subscribers rarely ever open your emails. And if they do, they dismiss it like Harrison Ford dismisses an interviewer’s question. Basically, these warm subscribers just sit on your list and do nothing. They are nothing but dead wood.

Oh, how I do detest the warm subscriber and their impassivity.

To me, they’re as disgusting as warm coffee…no, worse! At least warm coffee is easily disposed of. It’s much harder to rid your list of warm subscribers who linger like the smell of cigarette smoke in a chain-smoker’s car.

Now listen up:

If you truly want to make some serious bucks with email marketing, you must minimize the third group (warm subscribers) as much as humanly possible.

But how does one avoid a building a big-fat-list of apathetic, lukewarm subscribers?


By branding yourself.

You see, if you do not effectively brand yourself, your subscribers will treat you like a red-headed stepchild. You will simply not get the time and attention you deserve. I mean, you have a good product or service that will help your subscribers, right? Well, what are you doing to separate yourself from your competition?

You do realize your subscribers are getting a ton of advertising from people who are marketing the same product or service as you? Well, Buckwheat, you’d better come across as being different.

Real different.

Listen, the hard cold reality is this:

Your subscribers will never come to know how beneficial your product or service could be in their lives if YOU never become a priority in THEIR email inbox.

The question is: when they see your name pop up in their inbox, will they give you the ‘time of day’ or the ‘click away’?

Look, if you successfully brand yourself, there’s there no question…you WILL become a priority in their inbox.

Yes my little marketing crony, you will become…

…The Diamond Among The Lumps of Coal In Your Subscriber’s Inbox!

That’s right, if you can successfully brand yourself, you’ll be able to get all the attention your greedy little heart desires.

But how does one effectively brand themselves?

Enter the Maverick’s Email Playbook.

It ain’t just a manual for email copywriting. No siree!

Besides being one of the most comprehensive manifestos on email copywriting, it also¬†has a section on ‘branding’ where I reveal a little known 3-step-formula for branding yourself. This is taken right out of Jay-Z’s playbook.

It’s actually very simple, yet hardly anyone does this.

Full scoop here: The Maverick’s Playbook

Hey, question for you:

What do you find most difficult when writing a promotional email?

Hit reply and let me know, eh?

Or maybe you just wanna let me know how wonderful (and valuable) all my emails are…that’s fine too.

BTW, I will be releasing a new book on Amazon next month. This book is sure to perk up the sagging profits in anyone’s business. But more about that later.

Hope you’re doin’ well.




Email Marketing Maverick