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This Will Frustrate The Hell Outta English Majors

“Using metaphors will make you uncommonly effective as a persuader, someone known and respected for being able to unlock many hearts and minds with only your words.” ~ Gary Bencivenga

Dear subscriber,

If you’ve been in the copywriting game for some time and you haven’t studied Gary Bencivenga…

… shame on you!

That’s like getting into martial arts and never checking out Bruce Lee.

Simply put, Gary Bencivenga is widely considered to be the greatest living copywriter.

Study the man!

Alright, end of rebuke.

Let’s get down to the business of creating metaphors, shall we?

Yes! I’m still talking about metaphors. But don’t blame me, Slick, you guys keep asking me how to write them. This is on YOU guys.

Onward.

Now, when I say metaphor, I’m also referring to analogies and similes, okay? They’re essentially the same thing. They all make a comparison between two seemingly unrelated subjects.

Ya follow?

If you have a degree in English literature and you actually know the differences between them, please… don’t bother emailing me about it. I couldn’t give a rat’s fart about the difference between a metaphor and a simile.

To me, that’s like obsessing over the differences in cell structures of broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots.

Who the hell cares?

Okay, back to metaphors. (I’m losing focus. It’s stinking hot in Sydney today)

Alright, my friend, let’s put a little practicality into this email, huh?

Let’s say you’re writing about a guy who has a hair-trigger temper, and you want to communicate that to your readers. Well, most writers would write something like so:

***

This guy is easily triggered.

***

That has some clarity, but as far as sentences go, it’s a lame duck, doncha think?

I’m glad you concur.

So, how could you turn that sentence into a cracking good metaphor or simile or analogy (do I have to mention all three?) that will perk up your readers?

I’ll show you how. Here, hold my beer.

You could write this:

***

He gets more triggered than the smoke alarms in Snoop Dogg’s house.

***

Ya likey?

That breathes a bit of life into an otherwise limp and lifeless sentence.

Now listen, a good metaphor not only ratchets up engagement and helps with persuasion, but it can also be a tremendous teaching device. Metaphors are to teaching what binoculars are to vision – they help focus and concentrate our thoughts so we can see something we couldn’t otherwise see.

If you’re a consultant, a teacher, or a coach, and you’re not using metaphors, analogies, and similes in your communications, then you’re doing a disservice to your audience.

But I get it…

… coming up with metaphors seems to be a perplexing and mind-numbing mystery to most people.

Well, I have taken away the mystery by laying bare the exact method I use to write shockingly good metaphors, similes, and analogies inside my Email Playbook. You’ll find the goods on pages 57-83.

If you want to know what else is inside this playbook, look here: https://kelvindorsey.com/email-mavericks-playbook/

Your friend,

Kelvin

Email Marketing Maverick

Hey, Kelvin, do you have any copywriting products?

Aha…I thought you’d never ask.

I sure do.

However, they are very expensive, and if you’ve just stumbled onto my website and don’t know me from a can of paint, you’d be nuts to buy any of my products. After all, I could be a complete copywriting novice dressed up in guru clothing. Hell, the internet has no shortage of those.

Listen: I believe you should put someone’s content to the test before shelling out your hard earned. Know this: I want to help you drag in more sales for your business before you even think about giving me a single penny.

And that, dear website visitor, is why all my new subscribers get the following two perks:

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FACT: most people suck at writing promotional emails...

And yet… people still seem to make email marketing profitable – lame email copy and all.

Even the most clueless of business owners who add email to their marketing arsenal will see an increase in business.

Email, dear website visitor, is a very forgiving marketing medium. And therein lies a golden opportunity. If you learn just a little email copy (as opposed to normal copywriting – yes…there’s a difference), you can truly work wonders with email marketing. Look, I could wax lyrical about email copy all day long, but let me get straight to the point:

Email and sales go together like drunk and disorderly, and…I want to prove to you how easy it is to write emails people love to read and buy from. The notion that you need to be well versed in direct response marketing and be a certified copywriting pro is just beautiful nonsense. Not saying that won’t help… of course it’d help. What I am saying is that email is a very different animal, thus, you can get away with not possessing a lick of copywriting knowledge. If you’re serious about boosting your business’s sales, you’re gonna love perk #2 …

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Don’t let their simplicity fool you. These 17 email “types” are shockingly effective for selling products and services.

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