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Where Everybody Knows You’re Lame

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Does this happen to you?

Ya watch a TV show that you loved as kid….

Only to find yourself being amused by how dated and ridiculous that show now seems.


My beloved TV Show Cheers is NOT one of them.

No suh!

Cheers, like a bottle of Pinot Noir (excuse the pun) gets better over time.

One of my favorite parts of the show is Norm Peterson’s Bar entrances.

Norm always delivered a great line.

Here’s some of his best:

~ “What would you like, Normie?”

“A reason to live. Give me another beer.”

~ “Whatcha up to, Norm?”

“My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.”

~ “How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?”


“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, I mean pour.”

~ “What’s going down, Normie?”

“My butt cheeks on that bar stool.”

Heh he….

Geez I love that show.

Anyways, why am I nattering on about Cheers and particularly –  Norms bar entrances?

Veddy good question.

Here’s why:

Cuz there’s a great marketing lesson to be learned from good ol’ Norm Peterson.

And here’s the lesson:

Every online-marketer worth-their-broadband has an email list in which they sell to.

You do too right?



They send regular promotional-emails to their herd of subscribers to sell their stuff (whatever).

And so they should.

But here lies the issue Boo Boo…

When it comes to email marketing….

It’s not WHAT you do but HOW you do it that counts.

Lemme ‘xplain…..

Let’s look at Norm Peterson for a minute. If you’re a fan of Cheers, you’ll know that every time Norm enters the Bar, he receives a warm welcome from everybody in the form of a big: “NORM!” (said in unison).

But when his good buddy Cliff walks in, nobody seems to care or even notice.


Because Norm and Cliff do the “Bar-thing” very different.

Norm comes in with an attention getting funny quip every-time.

It’s fresh, original, funny and unique to Norm.

Norm is just Norm. He’s lazy, hates his wife, and spends every spare minute he has at the Bar. He doesn’t big-note himself or pretend to be smarter than he is. Nope….he’s just goes to the Bar, drinks Beer and socializes.

BUT, he’s damn good at it.

It’s his expertise, his specialty.

And no one does it better.

Cliff on the other hand…..

Is the classic know-it-all. His long-winded tales draw eye-rolls from his doubtful listeners. He’s also a fisrt-class whiner and a bore.

To sum up ol’ Cliffy in a word, you’d have to go with this one:


In every sense of the word too.

And ya know what?

98% of marketer’s promotional emails have Clifford written all-over-them.

They’re LAME.


Are you receiving my signal here?

Most email marketers treat their list like a baby treats a diaper.

Now that’s a pretty colorful metaphor isn’t it?

But oh-so accurate.

They send out a dish of dead-boring content, with a side-order of spam.

And wonder why they aren’t gettin’ sales.

Tis a sad state of affairs.

But is a great opportunity for smart marketers like ya bad-self.

If ya wanna separate yourself from the lamestream, then take a leaf outta Norms book.

Be yourself.

Be original.

Be entertaining.

Be the best at ONE thing…not below-average of many.

And be the ONE marketer where your list can honestly sing this about your emails arriving into their inbox:

“Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came”…

Kelvin Dorsey

How To Quit Apathy


Bart: But without a Coach, we can’t play!

Marge: Homie, maybe you could do it?

Homer: Sorry Marge. Last time I stepped on a baseball field, I got tasered.

Marge: You know, someday these kids will be out of the house, and you’ll

regret not spending more time with them.

Homer: That’s a problem for future Homer. Man I don’t envy that guy.




I’m gonna get my “serious” on today.


It’s a real pull-ya-finger-out type message.

But worry ye not… I’m writing this mostly to motivate my own lazy a#@.

And hopefully you’ll get some motivational residue.

Let’s crack on!

Did ya read the little script from the Simpsons above?

Homer shows a stunning display of short-shortsightedness and apathy eh?

Ya know, as funny as that above script from the Simpsons is, there’s a lot of Homer in us all.

And when it comes to building a business online, learning how to suppress or turn-off our inner-Homer is crucial to our success.

If there’s one thing that can kill achievement and success, it’s “apathy”

Apathy’s a cunning little devil.

Much like nicotine.

It’s addictive.

It can feel good.

And reduces stress (short term,very short term).

They both lull you into a false sense of security and comfort, but all the while….

They are secretly stealing from you.

And methinks ALL apathy comes from shortsightedness.


If you ain’t at least looking two years ahead in your business (knowing where you want to end up)…apathy will be at your door.


And like a long lost friend, you’ll lovingly welcome him in.

BUT, if you embrace a long-term mindset for your business, and nurture it, and rub it’s belly, you’ll have the vision and motivation to quit apathy.

So next time you get a craving to – get-ya-lazy-on, and to do less instead of more…..


Think long-term.

Ponder your business goals (vision) and you’ll kick that filthy-little-habit called apathy to the curb once and for all.

Word out.


Kelvin Dorsey

“Listen Buddy…It’s Gotta Be Everyday!”


“Everyday it’s a gettin’ closer
Goin’ faster than a roller coaster”  ~ Everyday – Buddy Holly

What’s the dill, pickle?


Kool Biz tip for ya today.

Although…when don’t I?

But first…

Here’s somethin’ ya probably didn’t know about me:

I used to make a livin’  hitting pig-skins with sticks.

Yep, that’s right, I was a drummer.

I played in a 50′s Rock and Roll band playing Buddy Holly songs.

Fancy that eh?

Yes, I’m talkin’ hair greased and slicked back, grey flannel suites. The whole kit and caboodle.


One of my favorite B H songs was called – Everyday.

Do ya know it? If not, go check it out on Youtube. It’s a goodie.

Now, while the topic of the song is about “love” that’s growing stronger and faster, it matters not.

Because I’m going to twist and tie it into a business-lesson in a most wonderful way.


Geez, I really put the pressure on myself there didn’t I?

Let’s see if I can deliver , shall we?


Here starteth thee lesson:

Now, look at the lyrics in quotation marks at the top of the page. What do ya think are the three keywords?

That’s right my smart-as-a-whip friend!

You got it.

They are: everyday…closer and faster.

Now in business, we all wanna achieve our goals and hit success in a BIG way. We want to get closer to that being a reality, and we want to get there faster too right?

Of course I’m right.

But let’s take a look at that nasty looking word that wasn’t mentioned in that last sentence.

That relentless, uncompromising, in-your-face word……


In business this is a very important word.

And here’s how “everyday” is applied to your biz:

Find out what activity in your bizness brings in the “green”, then do that…..e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.

It’s NOT a word for:

Opportunity-seekers…freebie-hunters…hold-my-hand-show-me-what-to-doers…drainers…bludgers or pikers.


The only thing those folk do in their business everyday is bitch, moan and whine.

Unfortunately, when it comes to internet marketers, they think this “everyday” thang doesn’t apply to them either.

But here’s the dealio Emilio:

Growing a business is like nurturing a baby.

It needs to be feed everyday.

Bubba needs milk…bubba gets milk. It will scream the house down until it gets it.

And guess what Chief?

Your business needs to be feed everyday too.

And do you know what food satisfies your business?


But to get sales flooding in everyday, ya gotta create something called momentum.

And momentum feeds off of everyday action.


It’s what you do every day that counts. It’s the ONLY way to build any type of momentum. No matter what ya doing.

If you only do it once a month, you’re playin’ around.

Once a week, it’s a hobby


Now that’s where Da-Bidniz-Get-Done.

It’ll bring ya closer and faster to your biz goals like nuttin’ else will.

Hope this put a lil’ Hoo-Haa! into ya step like it did mine.

Until next time….

Keep on, keepin’ on.


Kelvin Dorsey




Let’s talk procrastination baby!

It ain’t a very sexy topic is it?

But one worth chewing-the-fat over don’t ya think?

I’m glad you agree.

Let’s kick it.

Lemme start by saying I don’t believe in “procrastination”.

But here’s what I DO believe in:

Laziness….childishness….no-ballz….spinelessness and apathy.

I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down here.

You are, right?


You see, nothing get’s me more irritated than these time-management “Gurus” and so-called “Life Coaches” who are forever coming up with more and more reasons…phrases…words and scientific explanations for why people procrastinate.

They pontificate drivel such as:

Cognitive distortion, biological factors, dissertation-completion, social-esteem, prefrontal cortex analysis blah blah blah!


Can ya believe people pay these so-called “Professionals” to hear this guff?

It’s’ all boondoggle.


It doesn’t matter the reason why you procrastinate. What DOES matter, is the “doing” of the thing you’re supposed to be doing.


If you suffer form any of the things I listed above (you know, like laziness and childishness..etc.), and you’ve been putting something off you know you should do, let me save you some time and money amigo.

Ya don’t need to read all those books on defeating procrastination, or see a Life Hoax (I mean, coach) or listen to self-help audios.


All that is a complete waste of bandwidth.

Instead, here’s what you should do:

Get in your car and drive to your local footwear store. Go the the sports section, and look for a pair of Nike’s. Grab the pair of Nikes and look at the tag attached to the shoe. Look under the swoosh sign and read those three-little-words.

There is your answer.

Nuff said.


Kelvin Dorsey