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This Really Chaps My Arse

 

Dear subscriber,

Nothing chaps my arse more than people (morons) focusing on the trivial, especially in matters of humanity.

Two quick examples:

(1) People debate over whether we should call people living on the streets “homeless” or “a person experiencing homelessness.”

What does it matter…

… If  You’re Living on The Street!?

Do you really think a homeless guy living out of a cardboard box cares about what pronoun or adjective you use for him? I suspect he’s more concerned about avoiding the street rats at night and finding his next hot meal.

How about we focus on how to get that guy off the street?

(2) People waste time debating what’s more offensive a term: “obese” or “large person”? I prefer butterball or tub of lard. But, I’m the more sensitive type, I guess.

Once again, the point is this:

WHO THE HELL CARES!!

If you’re one hotdog away from a heart attack, what people call you is the last thing you should be concerned with.

Talk about idiots looking at the wise man’s finger (my inner circle members will get the reference).

And, of course, this obsessive focus on the trivial happens in the copywriting space, too. It happens everywhere, in every field of endeavor, in every industry, because, well, people are everywhere!

Yup, Homo sapiens have a real knack for getting caught up in the proverbial weeds.

So what? What’s any of this got to do with your business, eh?

Actually, quite a bit, especially if you’re looking to ramp up your online sales at the tail end of this year and beyond. Now listen, there are only a few things that truly matter when it comes to writing profitable sales copy. If you get these two things right, well hell, that’s like having a license to print money. In the November issue, I give you a real-life case study of a company that gets these two things right in a very big way.

Here’s the quick story:

This little-known company has been quietly making serious do-re-mi for nearly two decades selling a product that many critics believe to be nothing but snake oil. Despite the widespread negativity, critics, and skepticism, this product still sells like crazy, year in and year out.

And get this: they make all their sales from…

… A Simple Little Print ad!

Now, as I was saying, if you’re going to successfully sell a product when the odds are heavily stacked against you, well… you’d better get these two crucial elements down right.

And boy oh boy, does this little print ad get ’em right!

In the November issue, I break down this little print ad, line by line, and reveal these two crucial elements. Not only do I reveal what they are, but I also give the psychology behind them.

Plus, there are copywriting techniques and tricks aplenty.

If you’d like to start receiving this premium content, then carefully read this: https://kelvindorsey.com/mavericks-inner-circle/

 

Your friend,

Kelvin

Email Marketing Maverick

the 43 commandments of email copywriting

 

 

 

 

Hey, Kelvin, do you have any copywriting products?

Aha…I thought you’d never ask.

I sure do.

However, they are very expensive, and if you’ve just stumbled onto my website and don’t know me from a can of paint, you’d be nuts to buy any of my products. After all, I could be a complete copywriting novice dressed up in guru clothing. Hell, the internet has no shortage of those.

Listen: I believe you should put someone’s content to the test before shelling out your hard earned. Know this: I want to help you drag in more sales for your business before you even think about giving me a single penny. 

And that, dear website visitor, is why all my new subscribers get the following two perks:

NEW SUBSCRIBER PERK #1 - The 10-Minute Copywritng Speed Course

Fast-track your way to writing persuasive sales copy. I’m talking about copy that stomps on peoples’ greed glands while sounding credible and believable. Not easy to do. That’s why I created the 10-minute copywriting speed course. (You’re welcome)

I don’t care if you’re a sniveling beginner or a grizzled veteran, this will help you write copy that opens both minds and wallets!

FACT: most people suck at writing promotional emails...

And yet… people still seem to make email marketing profitable – lame email copy and all.

Even the most clueless of business owners who add email to their marketing arsenal will see an increase in business.

Email, dear website visitor, is a very forgiving marketing medium. And therein lies a golden opportunity. If you learn just a little email copy (as opposed to normal copywriting – yes…there’s a difference), you can truly work wonders with email marketing. Look, I could wax lyrical about email copy all day long, but let me get straight to the point:

Email and sales go together like drunk and disorderly, and…I want to prove to you how easy it is to write emails people love to read and buy from. The notion that you need to be well versed in direct response marketing and be a certified copywriting pro is just beautiful nonsense. Not saying that won’t help… of course it’d help. What I am saying is that email is a very different animal, thus, you can get away with not possessing a lick of copywriting knowledge. If you’re serious about boosting your business’s sales, you’re gonna love perk #2 …

NEW SUBSCRIBER PERK #2 - The Ultimate Email Cheat-Sheet

Don’t let their simplicity fool you. These 17 email “types” are shockingly effective for selling products and services.

“Serious business owners and marketers need only subscribe”

NOTE: The 10-Minute Copywritng Speed Course and The Ultimate Email Cheat-Sheet will be delivered to your inbox immediately upon signing up.