I’m about to tell you a story that’ll make you think I made it up.
Sure, I’ve been known to add a little yeast to my stories from time to time, but trust me, dear subscriber, the following story is 100% true.
I swear.
Here’s the story.
Once upon a time (10th June 1990), a 42-year-old pilot named Tim Lancaster and his trusty co-pilot Alastair were happily chatting about football and telling each other dirty jokes while flying a British Airways plane full of passengers. They had taken off from London and were headed for Spain.
The weather was cold but fair.
All in all, the flying conditions were pretty sweet.
Inside the cockpit, Alastair turns to Tim and asks, “What’s the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant?” “I dunno”, replies Tim. “It’s simple. At the end of the flight, the jet engine stops whining” quips Alastair.
They chuckle.
Tim, not to be outdone by his co-pilot, turns to Alastair and asks, “What separates three whores from two alcoholics? “Uh, I give up” replies Alastair. “The cockpit door!” Tim yawps.
Finally, they run out of jokes and settle in for the flight ahead.
One-hour passes.
Two-hours pass.
Then…….all of a sudden…
….KABOOOOSHHHHH…FFFFFFFF!!!!….
The windshield of the plane explodes and leaves pilot Lancaster half-sucked out of the plane!
The only thing that kept him from falling out and plummeting to his death was a quick-thinking flight attendant who grabbed onto Lancaster’s ankles. (I swear I’m not making this up)
The sudden decompression sucks in the cockpit door. It slams into the instrument panel which blocks access to the controls. A ballsy flight attendant desperately tries to remove the door from the controls.
By now, the passengers are starting to panic. But the flight attendants handle it the way any good bunch of flight attendants would: they lie! “No need for concern folks, our pilot’s just getting some fresh air while we fix the air conditioning situation.”
All the while pilot Lancaster is crushed up against the outside of the plane at 500 miles per hour with only the two, now frostbitten, hands of a courageous flight attendant keeping him from shooting out of the plane like a pea from a pea gun.
After 15 minutes or so, the guy holding onto Lancaster’s ankles had turned blue with frostbite, so they all took turns holding onto Lancaster’s ankles and, I guess, getting frostbite. After another 15 minutes, co-pilot Alastair had gained back control of the plane and prepared for the emergency landing. He decreases altitude.
At 11,000 feet, Lancaster’s body moved position.
Now he’s flailing around like a rag doll with his head repeatedly smacking up against the fuselage.
One of the flight attendants could see Lancaster’s head through the plane’s left direct vision mirror and noticed that Lancaster’s eyes were open but not blinking. They appeared to be frozen open.
“Gorblimey!!! He’s dead!”, yells the flight attendant. The other flight attendants – except for the one holding onto Lancaster’s ankles, luckily – rush over to confirm. “Bloody ‘ell! He’s deader than disco!” says another.
They discuss amongst themselves what to do.
“We should let him go. I mean, what’s the point of holding on to him now?” says one of the flight attendants.
They all agree.
“Wait! Says the co-pilot. If we let him go he could fly right into the engine or damage the wing. Then we’re really screwed!”
And so it came to pass that they decided to keep holding onto Lancaster’s ankles to ensure no further damage to the plane.
They held onto that poor bastard all the way until the plane landed and pulled up at the end of the runway.
But unbeknownst to them,…
…This Tough as a Two-Dollar Steak Pilot Was Still Alive!
Amazingly, Tim Lancaster survived with only a few bone fractures and some frostbite.
Helluva story, right?
Huh?
Wh-what is this I’m hearing?
You say you don’t see any business lesson here?
Well, Chico, that’s why YOU… are the subscriber and I…am the Scribe.
Look, I done told u there’s a business and marketing lesson in EVERY story. You just have to have your marketing goggles on to see it.
In fact, I can see three.
Forget it.
Let me just get on with spoon-feeding you the sales and marketing lessons thisahere story highlights.
Lesson #1
People are tougher than you think.
Despite today’s climate of political correctness gone wild, and gender pronoun debates and safe spaces, the vast majority of people are much tougher than you think.
Not just physically tougher, but mentally tougher.
Most marketers hugely overestimate the sensitivity of their prospects. Thus, they beat around the bush, avoid conflict and objections, and pander to their client’s every whim. Listen 95% of folks can handle the cold hard truth. And the 5% that can’t hack it, well, would you really want them as clients?
Speak directly. Be upfront. Tell them how it is. Most people will appreciate it. If you genuinely care for your customers and clients, you owe it to them to be brutally honest.
Lesson #2
Don’t ever let go of a customer.
Can you imagine if they let go of pilot Lancaster? It would have been a life cut well short. Tragic. You know, this happens all the time in business. I’m talking about cutting short the lifetime value of a customer. Here’s how it plays out: A customer walks into a store. They buy merchandise. The store owner takes their money but doesn’t take down any of the customer’s contact information. The customer leaves. And, in a lot of cases…
…Never, Ever Returns!
Shame on you if you let this happen. Listen: NEVER let a prospect walk out of your store (or leave your website) without offering them some type of attractive deal in exchange for their email address.
The fortune is in the follow-up. This was true 100 years ago, it’s true now, and it’ll be true in 100 years’ time.
Lesson #3
Good training can prosper you and your circle of influence.
It was the co-pilot’s training that saved the pilot and everyone on that plane.
Listen: when it comes to business, a lot of people have been so poorly trained that it becomes more of a handicap than a help.
A lot of people have been severely undertrained.
And, a lot of people have no business training whatsoever. Not good. Listen, winging it in business is not a great business plan. And winging it in the sales and the marketing department is a sure-fire way to the poor-house.
Know this: one of the best (and most overlooked) skills you can learn is how to turn a prospect into a lifetime customer.
Master that skill, and you’re laughin’ all the way to the bank. If you’re interested in mastering that skill, go hither: Email Playbook The training inside will set you up for success. Yes, my friend, the training inside will serve you well for the rest of your marketing days.
Remember: when YOU prosper, you can prosper those around you.
Amen.
Kelvin
Email Marketing Maverick
P.S.S. Need to improve your copywriting? This is sure to help:
