Dear subscriber,
I spend about $300 bucks a month on books.
Of all the books I buy, I probably only read 30 Percent of them.
Is that because you’re too busy to read them all, Kelvin?
Nah.
Is it because you misplace them?
Nuh-uh.
Is it because you’re a very slow reader?
NO!
Listen, the reason I don’t read most of the books I buy is that I can’t bring myself to wade through all the bullshit. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but that’s the only word for it. I’m talking about fighting my way through the molasses of meandering words and aimless tangents.
When it comes to reading, I have the patience of a toddler on a 6-hour car trip.
I want the main points, and I want ’em NOW!!
Don’t give me introductions, don’t tell me your life philosophies, don’t tell me your motivations for writing the book, don’t give me meandering side stories, or backstories, and don’t tell me how to read this book to get the most out of it (that last one really gets to me)
Just cut the crap and tell me what I need to know. In other words…
… I Want the Substance
Without the Filler!
The sad reality is, most non-fiction books are a tedious exercise in patience.
If you took the average nonfiction book and stripped away all the verbosity and meandering content, you’d be left with a pamphlet. And… I’m all for pamphlet-sized books!
But it ain’t just books that are stuffed full of filler. It’s everywhere! Especially information-based content online.
A case in point:
Yesterday, my Spotify playlist was glitching. It kept cutting out midsong. So, I thought I would delete the app and reinstall it to see if that would fix the problem. But then I thought, “Hey, that could permanently delete my awesome playlists.”
That would greatly displease me.
So, I type into Google this: will I lose my playlists if I delete and reinstall the Spotify app?
The first article that popped up was titled this: If I delete Spotify, will I lose my playlists?
Perfect!
That’s exactly what I wanted to know. So I start reading the article.
Here’s what it said:
If I delete Spotify, will I lose my playlists?
If you’re on the verge of uninstalling the Spotify app from your iOS or Android device, but aren’t sure about it, then you’re probably wondering what happens when you uninstall Spotify.
For those who love listening to music and discovering new artists, Spotify is probably the best app to have on your smartphone. It features one of the largest reserves of music and playlists that are curated by real-life users such as yourself. You can find playlists for all kinds of moods and scenarios. However, there may be several reasons why you may want to uninstall the Spotify app. Your storage is full, you’ve reached the maximum number of downloads, and so on.
On Spotify, you can either download songs, or you can save music and playlists. The downloaded songs are stored on your phone, but the saved songs and playlists are just stored on the app. However, deleting the app or uninstalling Spotify will not get rid of your saved playlists and music from the library.
***
I don’t blame you if you didn’t read that. It had more fluff than a pillow factory.
Here’s how that article should have been written:
If I delete Spotify, will I lose my playlists?
Deleting the app or uninstalling Spotify will not get rid of your saved playlists and music from the library.
***
See there? We have given our trusting readers the answer in just 16 words.
By the way, I simply copied and pasted the article’s very last sentence. Talk about burying the lead, huh?
Well anyhow, I think we can do even better.
How about this:
If I delete Spotify, will I lose my playlists?
Nope.
***
Okay, so maybe that’s pushing the brevity thing a little too far. But, let’s be honest, the first improvement was perfect. That’s all that needed to be said.
But alas, writers seem to hate brevity the way Iggy Pop hates shirts.
Now, dear subscriber, don’t think for a second that I don’t see the irony here. I’ve just been rambling on about how much I hate other writers rambling on.
Ah, but there is a big difference, my friend.
And what is this big difference, you ask?
This:
My Rambling Doesn’t Make You
Want to Slash Your Wrist!
Sure, my content may piss you off sometimes, but it will never bore you.
Now, because I have the patience of a New York City driver and I get bored quicker than a Gen Zeder with no internet, I project this onto my readers. This is a good thing. It makes me get straight to the point and ensures I throw in a good dose of entertainment.
Listen:
Knowing how to capture people’s attention and keep it is almost like having a superpower. It allows you to talk about anything you damn well please. Yup, if you get this entertainment thing down pat, well hell, you could talk about doing your taxes and people will listen. Think about the TV show Seinfeld. Essentially, it’s a show about nothing, but because Jerry Seinfeld and his pal Larry David had mastered the skill of entertainment (getting and keeping people’s attention), that show about “nothing” became one of the greatest and most influential sitcoms of all time.
Now, imagine adding entertainment value to a topic you know your audience is interested in.
If you can pull that off, you’ll be cookin’ with all four burners.
And if you have a product or service to sell… what then?
That’s easy:
You throw into the mix some compelling copywriting. That way you’ll get to pitch your wares to a captivated audience!
Now we’re cookin’ on all four burners AND getting the sweet do-re-mi, to boot!
Is it really that simple?
Well, I’ll put it this way: It’s simple in the way that tennis is simple.
With tennis, you just have to hit that little yellow tennis ball over the net to a place where your opponent can’t easily return it, right?
But, if you’ve ever played tennis, you’ll know that simple idea requires a LOT of skill.
And so it is with mixing entertainment and copywriting into your content.
It’s simple on the surface.
But beneath lies a world of technique, knowledge, and mental acuity.
Now, the only reason you’re still reading this is because I have painstakingly learned (over many years) how to get and keep people’s attention.
And… if you feel compelled to buy what I’m about to show you, it’s because (1) you’re qualified, and (2) I’m well-versed in the art and science of copywriting.
OK. So, what am I about to show you?
I’m about to show you a book that contains 24 of my best attention-grabbing (and keeping) secrets. Plus, it has plenty of copywriting secrets, too.
If you’re serious about turning attention into dollars, then take a serious look at this: https://kelvindorsey.com/24-laws-sales-page-2/
Your friend,
Kelvin
Email Marketing Maverick
