Online Marketing Code Words (and a small request)

Every industry has its own particular words and phrases.

Sometimes those words and phrases are code words.

Code words are words that insiders use amongst themselves to keep the outsiders just that – outsiders.

Below are some examples of some rather interesting code words from various industries.

Check ’em out:

Code word: Muppets

Muppet is the derogatory (and funny) word used by Wall Street execs when referring to their clients.

Next.

Code word: Angel Lust

This is the term used by medical and mortuary professionals that refers to a male corpse that has a raging boner (eesh!)

Next.

Code word: Shoot the puppy

A term that many high-level business execs use when they are about to do something, either heartless, unethical, illegal, extremely unpleasant (or all of the above) for the greater good of the company.

Next.

Code word: Protein Spill

When someone rides the Mickey’s Fun Wheel at Disneyland and barfs up their quake shake and corn dog all over themselves, others, and the ride, you won’t hear Disneyland bosses yelling at their workers to go clean up the vomit or puke. No, no, noooo! Such words will never be uttered at “The Happiest Place On Earth” No. What they calmly say is, “Barney, there’s been a protein spill, please commence cleaning.”

Next.

Men and women also have their own code words. Dating sites are chock-full of code words.

Here are a few of the laydees’ code words used on dating sites:

Code word: Adventurer –

Has had more partners than you ever will.

Code word: Affectionate –

Possessive.

Code word: commitment-minded –

Pick out curtains, now!

Code word: Financially secure –

One paycheque from the street.

Code word: Free spirit –

Substance abuser.

Code word: Good listener –

Borderline Autistic

Code word: Loves travel –

If you’re paying

Code word: Spiritual –

Involved with a cult.

Okay, laydees, here are some of the men’s code words:

Code word: Artist –

Delicate ego in desperate need of massage.

Code word: Distinguished looking –

Fat, grey, and bald.

Code word: Educated –

A pompous jerk who will always treat you like an idiot.

Code word: Sensitive –

Needy.

Code word: Open-minded –

Wants to sleep with your sister again.

Code word: Spiritual –

Once went to church with his grandmother.

Code word: Thoughtful –

Says please when demanding you for a beer.

Alright, let’s finish up with a few code words used by online marketers.

Code word: Free gift –

A crappy PDF or video marketers give away so they can pummel you senseless with their outrageously over-priced offers.

Code word: Entrepreneur –

Someone who’s eking out a living on a flat tap in their mother’s basement.

Code word: Amazing! –

“This product’s crap but I know enough suckers will buy it.” That’s basically the thinking behind the hackneyed use of this word. The only people who this word (amazing) convinces are people who are desperate and willing to believe that the latest and greatest biz opportunity is their ticket out of Loserville. (Amazing)

Code word: Bestseller –

Their mother and auntie bought their book.

Code Word: Revolutionary product –

Same shit, different shovel.

Okay, that’s enough sarcasm for the soul.

Let’s talk about…wait.

I really don’t have anything to say today. Howabout that? Welp, what do you wanna talk about?

Oh, here’s something: I have been thinking of creating a copywriting product for some time now. For some reason, I keep putting it off. Would you be interested in buying a copywriting product?

Let me know, would you?

I dunno, I guess I’m just looking for some motivation to start creating it.

Hey, here’s something else I’m wondering: have you read my book titled 81 Days to Becoming an Online Marketing Sales Machine? I know a good chunk of you have. But if you haven’t read it yet, you should!

That’s if you can scrape together the money (one whole dollar!) to buy it.

Well anyway, if you’re interested, you can buy it here: https://www.amazon.com/BECOMING-ONLINE-MARKETING-SALES-MACHINE-

For those of you who have read it, I ask you this: what good deed have you done today?  Have you done something to help someone today and asked nothing in return? Look, don’t worry if you haven’t done a selfless act today. I go days, weeks, sometimes even months without doing a single good deed. After a while, the guilt of being so damn selfish stops tugging at your conscience.

That’s right. You can be a real selfish jerk and still sleep well at night.

But, let’s be honest, that’s no way to live, right?

Exactly.

You want to feel good about yourself. And the way to feel good about yourself is to do something for someone and ask nothing in return.

Like, for example, promoting someone else’s book! (hint, hint)

Listen, if you can muster up the generosity, would you consider letting someone else know about my book? You know, someone you care about, someone who would benefit from reading my book.

You would?

Ah, I always knew you were a good-hearted soul.

Okay, here’s what you can do:

Forward this email to that person, or just send them this link: https://www.amazon.com/BECOMING-ONLINE-MARKETING-SALES-MACHINE

Either way, they will be grateful, and more importantly…

…so will I!

Thank you kindly,

Your friend,

Kelvin

Email Marketing Maverick