Dear subscriber,
Once upon a time…
A laydee was strolling through her local neighborhood when she came upon a guy who was smoking two cigarettes at once.
The laydee approached the man and politely asked why he was smoking two cigarettes.
“That’s because I smoke one for myself and one for my buddy in prison”, the man replied.
Oh, I see, said the laydee.
A few weeks later, the laydee sees the same man smoking just one cigarette. The laydee approached the man and said, “I noticed you’re only smoking one cigarette today. Did your friend get released from prison?”
“No, he’s still in prison”, the man replied.
“So why are you smoking only one cigarette?”, asked the laydee.
“Oh, that’s simple”, said the man, “I quit smoking!”
***
Okay, I’ll admit that was not my best joke, but it does serve as a good intro for today’s topic. And what is that topic, you ask gently scratching your chin? The topic is “quitting.”
Now here’s a good question:
How does one decide when it’s time to persist and when it’s time to throw in the towel?
Okay, now let’s get into this email.
I want to talk abou…. what?
Oh, you want an answer to the above question?
Look, I said it was a good question, I didn’t say I had an answer.
Listen, let’s just get to the business end of this email, shall we?
Below is a laundry list of common blunders made by email marketers. If you are making any of these profit-killing goofs… then allow me to give you a well-thought-out, heartfelt, and prudent piece of advice:
Quit it!
OK. Here’s the list:
Goof #1
Trying to please all your subscribers. Show me a marketer who’s trying to keep everyone happy, and I’ll show you a marketer who’s failing miserably.
Goof #2
Stuffing your emails with full of unnecessary images, graphics, and links. That’s like trying to give a sales presentation at a crowded carnival – too many damn distractions.
Goof #3
Selling multiple things at once. No good, Chi-Chi. The more choices you give your subscribers, the more difficult you make it for them to make a decision.
Goof #4
Blatant pitching without giving value.
If you need an explanation for this one, I’m guessing you’re probably looking for the remedial class but got lost.
I’m sorry. I don’t offer any remedial classes
Goof #5
Giving value without pitching.
I pitch in every single email and never get complaints. But you know what I do get? Sales! If you want to know how to get your subscribers excited to read and buy from your promotional emails… go through this: https://kelvindorsey.com/email-mavericks-playbook/
I’ll finish with a Charlie Munger quote I like.
“It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.” ~ Charlie Munger
***
Old Chuck’s right.
You can do well in life by simply not being a dumbarse.
And so it is with email marketing.
You don’t need to be a copywriting genius to write profitable emails; just avoiding the above goofs will put you on the profitable path.
Your friend,
Kelvin
Email Marketing Maverick
