Free Access to Kelvin’s Ultimate Email Cheat-Sheet and 10 Minute Copy Speed Course

The Most Useless Book on Email Copywriting Ever?

“Hoax! Scam!! Fraud!!!”, they bark.

I’m referring to folks who knee-jerkily buy online courses only to jump on some forum and cry foul.

“I bought So-and-So’s course, and it didn’t work!”, they yelp.

No, Chi-Chi…

... YOU Didn’t Work!

Most people who buy online courses and information products barely get past the first module, that’s if they even cracked it open. These folks major in intentions and minor in follow-through. And then they have the nerve to call the course creator a fraud.

Now imagine this:

A bunch of people sign up for a gym membership. Over the next three months, most of these new members never show up to the gym. So, naturally, they don’t get any results. So what do they do? They jump on some online forum or social media platform and bitch about the gym and how it’s a scam. They try and convince everyone that the gym owner is a complete fraud.

Ridiculous, huh?

Well, that shit happens all the time for course creators.

Online course creators are definitely an unprotected species.

And someone should say something. So, I sayin’ something!

Harken!

If you wanna see a REAL scam, just look at higher learning institutions. These institutions will charge English-speaking people to pay $146,000 for a degree in… English! Best con ever.

Well anyhow, one online course creator who knows whereof he speaks, is none other than Tai Lopez. This cat has been called every synonym of the word “fraud” under the sun!

Get this:

Lopez created a social media marketing course that blew up online. This social media course triggered a tsunami of crybaby customers who bitched and moaned that the course didn’t work. “Tai Lopez is a fraud!” content was popping up like angry hemorrhoids all over the internet.

But you know who did like Tai Lopez’s social media course?

A young lad by the name of Logan Paul.

Maybe you’ve heard of I’m. He’s just one of the most successful social media influences on the planet right now.

Well, Logan Paul wrote Tai a letter of appreciation saying that thanks to Tai’s social media course, he went on to make 70 million dollars.

Interesting, huh? The very same course that triggered a bunch of whiny customers to scream “scam!”, has also made many of today’s most successful social media figures a fast, fat fortune!

Yup, the doers win and the pretenders cry foul.

It’s a tale as old as time.

The truth of the matter is this:

Even the most average of online courses can help people tremendously IF only the customers implemented the information.

Now, don’t think for a second that Papa Maverick is immune from these loser customers who love to paint content creators as fraudsters. I’ve certainly had my fair share of whiny customer reviews over the years. But I treat those reviews the way Stockton Rush treated safety regulations – with total disregard!

Well anyway, would you like to see one? Okay.

I present to you exhibit A: (a whiny Amazon reader’s review of my book The 43 Commandments of Email Copywriting)

“I am writing this review because the author made this claim:
“Michael Jordan plays ball. Steven Spielberg makes movies. I teach email marketing. Everyone has a talent.” I say that because I was going to withhold my review because I figured this guy was only trying. Because he has such a gigantic ego, I thought I would set him straight.

As a real–as in I am fully employed–email copywriter, I am sick of these so-called experts who flout their expertise and have egos the size of Wyoming. They usually don’t know that much, but I cut them some slack. But then this book comes along and makes some super claims about being an expert.–and ego to boot.

This book is the most useless book on email copywriting. It’s useless for just about everything. The author has umpteen potty jokes. The writing is very subpar. And hardly delivers any substance.

Here are some examples from the book:

On commandment #10: IT’S THE MARKET, STUPID… he says, “That’s more of a proverb than a commandment,” Right there. Bait and switch. Not to mention insulting the reader about a hundred times.

I really can’t imagine anyone hiring this person when he treats his audience like dirt. BTW: Not one example of an email–well, I am not totally done with the book. The one exception is a very long and boring story that NO ONE should ever put into an email, but he highly recommends it.

…I have to get back to my REAL job as an email copywriter, so I will continue this review later.”

***

Zowie!

Well, he certainly put me in my place, didn’t he?

I can only hope that one day I can live up to his standards and ascend to the hallowed heights of “real” email copywriting. Yep, one day I might be so lucky to become an employee!

Then I can be a REAL email copywriter!

Yippee!

Your friend,

Kelvin

Email Marketing Maverick (a copywriting hack who can’t find a REAL job)

Poor me.

P.S. Stay away from losers like the above reviewer. Hang with winners. You can do that here: https://kelvindorsey.com/mavericks-inner-circle/

Peace.

Hey, Kelvin, do you have any copywriting products?

Aha…I thought you’d never ask.

I sure do.

However, they are very expensive, and if you’ve just stumbled onto my website and don’t know me from a can of paint, you’d be nuts to buy any of my products. After all, I could be a complete copywriting novice dressed up in guru clothing. Hell, the internet has no shortage of those.

Listen: I believe you should put someone’s content to the test before shelling out your hard earned. Know this: I want to help you drag in more sales for your business before you even think about giving me a single penny.

And that, dear website visitor, is why all my new subscribers get the following two perks:

NEW SUBSCRIBER PERK #1 - The 10-Minute Copywritng Speed Course

Fast-track your way to writing persuasive sales copy. I’m talking about copy that stomps on peoples’ greed glands while sounding credible and believable. Not easy to do. That’s why I created the 10-minute copywriting speed course. (You’re welcome)

I don’t care if you’re a sniveling beginner or a grizzled veteran, this will help you write copy that opens both minds and wallets!

FACT: most people suck at writing promotional emails...

And yet… people still seem to make email marketing profitable – lame email copy and all.

Even the most clueless of business owners who add email to their marketing arsenal will see an increase in business.

Email, dear website visitor, is a very forgiving marketing medium. And therein lies a golden opportunity. If you learn just a little email copy (as opposed to normal copywriting – yes…there’s a difference), you can truly work wonders with email marketing. Look, I could wax lyrical about email copy all day long, but let me get straight to the point:

Email and sales go together like drunk and disorderly, and…I want to prove to you how easy it is to write emails people love to read and buy from. The notion that you need to be well versed in direct response marketing and be a certified copywriting pro is just beautiful nonsense. Not saying that won’t help… of course it’d help. What I am saying is that email is a very different animal, thus, you can get away with not possessing a lick of copywriting knowledge. If you’re serious about boosting your business’s sales, you’re gonna love perk #2 …

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Don’t let their simplicity fool you. These 17 email “types” are shockingly effective for selling products and services.

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